People keep asking me to update my blog.
It's really troublesome you know. I really don't know where to start.
Recently I feel kind of unable to study anything.
I mean I can still understand what the teachers are talking, still understand what are written inside the notes.
Just that I cannot bring myself to do homework.
and I keep procrastinating.
Oh well.
And maybe I'm getting a bit irritating.
Sorry people if I ever annoy you.
I lost the ability to focus.
My mind keeps wandering in some faraway land.
And I don't even bother to bring it back.
Nah.
It's May already.
One more month and I will come back home.
Too long.
I need to relax my mind as soon as possible.
I haven't been doing well for the last 5 months.
It makes me feel the regret.
I may have gone under a paradigm shift in the last few months.
I think differently from what I used to do.
A bit more pessimistic, perhaps.
Or it is just a little more realistic now.
I may have been influenced by what I have read.
Too many manga, I suppose.
I love the ideals of the protagonists.
They always strive for the best, for their own beliefs.
Something like saving the world or defeating the bad guys without hurting people.
Perfectionist thinking.
Most of those heroes live in some eras where schools do not even exist.
Some do quite badly in their studying.
The rest who are described as capable students are mostly born genius.
That's why knowledge in the mangas do not really applicable in real-life situation.
Stupid stuffs that I have wasted don't know how many days of life to read.
Ok.
But stupid stuffs have their own importance.
If you keep reading complicated and sophisticated stuffs,
you will be gradually desensitized until you cannot differentiate between stupid stuffs and complicated stuffs anymore.
So I won't give up on my manga reading habit.
And you know what.
Even stuffs you learn in school wont be of much help for your future.
What could you do after you have learned the equation of a hyperbola or a parabola?
In think 99% of jobs in the world does not require you to know formula the distance from a fixed point(h,k) to the line defined by the equation ax+by+c=0.
And i suppose we don't really need to understand why some molecules are linked to each other by whatever linkages.
six hundred and two million billion billion of those molecules put altogether only look like a small bit of dust in front of us anyway.
and I suppose if you are a normal and sane person like myself you would have no interest in how fast those molecule travels or the volume it may take up, or the work done by it on the surroundings.
Millions people in the world study economics. And the world is facing recession.
Then what the hell can economics even help?
Since stuffs you are studying are all based on some assumptions called ceteris paribus,
that billion of people who know of it do not bother to think of an English word to substitute it.
It does not make much sense for me.
And what is the best thing about studying?
after I list out all those useless stuff up there,
I'm going to study all those to maintain my grades,
for which I may get into trouble if I could not do.
Quite an irony of fate.

Ok i'm not emo.
But if you want to call me emo I won't mind.
It is just that I don't know what to do.

I know this is a feeling that I just can't fight.
You're the first and last thing on my mind.

Well can't really get my mind off her. Darn.