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dont be scared
Title: Gray supremacy
Version: 2.06

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Beautiful life

Saturday, April 26, 2008/ 8:49 AM

Time passed by surely fast.
Already end of week 6.
One kid came back to his room, smile in satisfaction.
because he enjoyed his life.
and now he love it more and more.
since he has his friends
since he has the attention.
since he is trying his best.
He loves his life.
since it is so beautiful.

He enjoys play sport with his friends.
His friends at school. His Vietnamese friends.
He loves talking about all the meaningless things.
As long as there is someone willing to listen.

He once tried to hold himself back.
Scared of talking too much, afraid of embarrassing himself.
Scared of hurting anyone, afraid of hurting himself.

But he has changed.
He finds aspiration to keep moving on.
He loves his friends.
He loves his family.
He loves his class.

Now everyone is going through a hectic time.
Homework, projects, assignments, aplenty.
but everyone let's get through it together!
you are not alone.
because that kid is also trying alongside with you.

Jiayou!

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Monday, April 21, 2008/ 11:08 PM

Just doing some LA journal.
Stupid.
Don't wanna write.
But it makes me think.
Yes, Charlie is not treated well.
He was made fun of, he was scared of.
But he still got friends wad??
There still existed people who cared for him
there still existed people who accepted him as he was.
and loved him...
Life is so nice.
There are always someone, who care for you, who accept you, and love you.
Regardless of who you are.
That's enough for a life isnt it?
and Charlie.
Why do I admire him?
Because he was a good man.
After he got smarter, people thought that he became more irritable.
Yes, cos he understood what people did to him.
He understood how they treated him.
He understood how they saw him.
He was sad.
He was frustrated.
But he accepted it.
Nemur treated him like a lab rat.
and he did not like Nemur.
But he decided to help in the research.
He did not do it for himself.
He did it for people like the old him.
who were hoping for a change.
He knew his time was limited.
But he tried.
and he did it.
So nice.
People can do what they want.
contribute their best
to help others.
to help the world.
while the world does not treat them well.
forget about themselves.
that's how a man should be.
determined, straight and dedicated.
I admire him.
like how i want to be.

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Saturday, April 19, 2008/ 12:45 AM

I love my life :)
since it's fun.
and everchanging
today didnt want to come to school.
the rain was nice, just wanted to laze on the bed as much as i could.
almost late for school.
hsiu yen's birthday!
happy birthday, you are now sixteen.
all the best wishes for you!
i appreciate your company :)
first lesson was Physics.
my head just didnt work.
it refused to work, and i made no effort to force it to work.
it wanted to rest, then let it rest :)
next was chinese.
i.e a free period.
in my half-awaken state, i could not enjoy it as fully as usual.
but as long as i didnt have to study, that's ok :)
after that got free period.
proceeded to the court downstairs to film that stupid video for MI.
it was really fun.
hsiu yen and chitra kept forgetting the lines.
and we had to redo thousands of times.
hsiu yen looked so damn gay with his PINK halo and his PINK star wand.
why did it have to be pink???
nvm then, got a fun time anyway.
but got whacked by that PINK star wand.
i immediately recorded the memory as an evidence, and I solemnly swear I will take revenge someday.
GS.
ok ok lah.
skip it.
nothing interesting.
got lunch.
two LAs.
got to watch the movie.
didnt have to study.
but the movie was bloody boring.
not half as good as the novel.
and the sound was really stupid.
sometimes could hear no sound at all, and sometimes got lots of weird sound.
that movie got an Oscar meh?
I had a hard time imagine how bad were all the movies thirty years ago?
nvm
end of the day.
had to stay back.
dota match at 4.
the opponents were good.
but we put up a good fight.
and cris seemed better than yesterday, even we lost badly.
nvm then bros, we got a chance to learn, and we still had time to try.

I just dont know.
recently i feel much better than last month.
cant figure out the reason.
nvm then, no need a reason to be happy.
i should keep being cheerful.
and improve also.
try to erase my bad habits of procrastination.
should try harder, but not a mugger.
i wanna be stronger also.
and soccer also.
too bad my knee still hurts.
can run, but i dont think it's a good idea to run.
be good, me :)

and I think i should be more grateful.
show my gratitude to people around me.
since i love them, and i want them to love me.
i want to be thankful for what people have done for me.

THANK YOU Cris for waking me up
THANK YOU my MI group, for you have spend lots of effort for the script. let's try to finish it soon.
THANK YOU Minh, for accompanying me for one hour when i have nothing to do.
THANK YOU the people who designed the Ipod, i'm grateful that your product had saved me from boredom.
THANK YOU all the translation groups who have been diligently translating manga and put it up for me to read.
THANK YOU Mr Kubo Tite, Bleach is really nice. Now got lots of twists :) Love it.

I love my life :) xD

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Thursday, April 17, 2008/ 8:08 PM

today was really fun.
went through the rain to school.
at least it rained in the morning
that meant it cant rain in the afternoon and the match wouldnt be cancelled.

i came to class really tired.
lessons were boring as ever.
smsing with nghia, all the stupid things
i did a good job to last until 110.
then go to coro and come back.
saw some guys playing soccer and joined in.

I felt bad playing with Reuben.
he told me beforehand that do not play so rough.
then he dribbled, dribbled, dribbled, dribbled, dribbled, right to left, left to right, front to back, back to front, right to left, and left to right again and again.
but he failed to get pass me .
then he started to get impatient .
he pushed me aside , swore, and blah blah.
didnt want to pick up a fight, i just stood aside and let him get past.
then he ran to the goal.
and shot.
and missed.
how nice.
i didnt want to be that bad.
just that he irritated me.
ashwyn also.
soccer is a team game.
all about passing , strategy and sportmanship.
they just knew to dribble.
even their skills werent good enough
they couldnt get past us then they started pushing and swearing.
i could not stand them
me and my team just passed the ball around.
then scored
they deserved a humiliation.
i hate posers.

went around school to find someone to talk to.
found Phong.
talked to him 'bout balance of payment (xD)
actually i was really sad about my presentation yesterday
i must have to try harder then :)
but talking with Phong was fun.

later went to bytz
for the dota thingy.
hahah talking with those 06 guys was fun.
then the match.
we were playing quite well.
i got 1st blood some more :)
but then lost
quite sad, really
if the game would last longer then maybe we would win
my bradwarden was really strong.
nvm got next time to try.
cris seemed to be frustrated.
nvm then next time we would win
:)

then went for the nj match
when we came the score were 1-0 alr
:)
came down and cheered with everyone.
kelly got a nice goal.
gerrard was playing quite okay also
Quang got a nice pass
and the last goal was really funny :)
3-1
go go go nj

my leg hurts
cant run
dont know tmr can go for training or not
:(
lets try my best then

love ya all.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008/ 12:22 AM

I
I'm changing.
I'm working harder than before
I wanna change
I wanna change myself
I dont know if it's too late
But as long as I know that I finally start thinking for my own self.
It would not matter now
It would not matter in a week's time
It would not matter in a month's time
But it would definitely worth if my determination can last for a few months.
Why did I wanna change?
A childish thought.
Who knows it could affect me this much.
I'm trying.
Open myself.
Oppose myself.
And challenge myself.
And defeat myself.

Me, changing.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2008/ 11:59 PM

Half day.
I love half days.
But not this half day.
Because it was stupid.
We were allowed to leave at 11.40
tempting, wasn't it?
If the day was longer.
2hrs and 20 minutes earlier than normal.
not a big difference anyway.

I was really exhausted today.
went to school as usual.
Got the IP preview t-shirt.
only ok, not really nice.
i heard that we are supposed to wear it tmr.
and i forgot it in class.
T_T
stupid me.
11.40am.
that meant i had homeroom session, 3 periods,lunch and 10 more minutes.
and among the 3 periods , 2 of them were chinese.
I was slacking for 2 periods.
and then came back to class for LA.
stupid me again, forgot the bloody book.
and I slacked through the period also.
lunch was supposed to follow, but Mr Loh came in and took over.
I forgot the note, as usual.
And I slacked last period also.
But slacking did not save me.
11.45 had to go down for training.
did not have time for lunch.
insane, the school was.
training started at 12
middle of noon.
in the middle of the field.
where that bloody sun cruelly burnt your body to a crisp.
training was okay.
have not adapt in, but that's okay.
i still have lots of time.
slowly and steadily
i will become a star player.
should stop dreaming.
i'm becoming lamer and lamer.
the sun was like, freaking hot.
my feet were burning, just running on the field.
and ironically, we stop training because of lightning, which was followed by a big rainfall.
could not have time to draw a hydrograph and observe the water level of NJC.
But then we had nothing to do.
then waiting for the ice.
later got icing.
jumping inside was really scary.
after seeing keith screaming like he was being tortured.
Maybe he was really tortured, with samara dripping water on hid head.
but it was damn cold, truthfully said.
but after coming out it felt really nice.
Hm. I loved it.
Later gotta watch a movie.
Felt sleep for almost half of it.
it was okay.
Could not understand what the hell they were talking about.
i dont have a faintest idea about rugby, sadly.
and then end of day.
hmm.
Half day, I came back at 6pm.
so really tired.
tmr i should pon training .

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Monday, April 7, 2008/ 10:52 PM

I'm really putting myself to a limit.
I did think a lot.
This year the time I spent for thinking might be equal to a whole year worth of thoughts.
To no conclusion, but I just kept thinking.
Did I become a better person?
Hah, just read my friend's blog yesterday.
"Ước gì được như ngày xưa, em và cưng chat với nhau sến đến mức chuối cũng phải rụng..."
Remind of the past I have forgotten.
The happy past which I never think I could forget, or even think of forgetting.
9 more months and I would become eighteen.
But I never I have grown up from a kid.
I used to be absent-minded, to be naive and innocent.
I was treated with special care.
My parents never directly told me what to do and what not to.
They always stayed behind me, guiding me, encouraging me.
Subtly provide me with what I need, vaguely tell me what I should know.
They wanted me to grow up independently.
I was independent.
I got the scholarship, and went to Singapore to study.
I never thought I could have gotten it.
Maybe just some errors in calculating my scores
Or a stroke of luck.
Or maybe I was really on form that day.
Who cares then.
I came to Singapore.
I promised my parents I would be okay on my own.
I promised my friends not to forget of them.
I promised myself I would prove my own worth.
I was really a good promiser.
Now I have become a liar.
Who can never keep his words.
I lost 7 kg, after months of unhealthy living.
I did not participate in any CCA activities for the whole first year( I had, but negligible)
I could not control my life to go in the correct way.
I could not make myself better.
I forgot my friends. Not that I didnt remember them, just that I was too lazy to contact them.
I screwed up in group work. My deepest apologies for everyone who was in the same group with me last year, in whatever subject, whatever project. I was really lazy last year.
My English just won't improve. I wanted to be a good guy, a sociable guy as I am. But I could not. Because of my English. Can never express what I mean. Can never show my true self. Can never enjoy life to the fullest.
I got frustrated since I cant express myself truly. I became depressed and irritable. My apologies, my friends, if ever I have been mean to you.
I am an arrogant person. I believe in myself. And I got the feeling that people do not trust me. Not a big thing. But sometimes, I got jealous. I am contradictory. When I know something, I really want people to ask me about it. But when people keep bugging me for all the stupid questions I got irritated and I might be mean.
I study for 30 minutes and I get bored. I play for 30 minutes then I get bored. I listen to music for 30 minutes and I also get bored.
I like changes, I like abnormalities. I like quaintness. I like unique things. I like unusual things.
My life was as good as I wanted it to be.
But that was not a problem of fate.
it is just that i did not have the determination.
Now im concentrating, and im striving.
To get determined, to get agitated.
And maybe I will be better
Someday.
Like an ugly cocoon.
waiting for the day it becomes a butterfly.
But butterfly is also a bug.
But who cares, as long as it is a better bug than cocoon,

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crap...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008/ 11:27 PM

I
I want to tell all of you a short and sad story.
A story about a guy who can never speak up for himself.
He has the presence, he has the ability to speak up for himself.
Just that he chooses not to.
He is shy and reserved.
Untainted by lust and temptation.
He is thoughtful, to the extent of naive.
He lives with consideration to other feelings, he never means to hurt anyone, never ever.
He just does not want to see people suffer in front of him.
Every single one.
He is too careful not to forget anyone.
But he is just too careless to forget himself.
As he is the only one that he cannot see.
He treats people with care and respect.
People treat him with ignorance and coldness.
He is too considerate.
He is scared of doing anything that would hurt people.
He would prefer do nothing at all.
He can never stand out.
He knows it.
He knows clearly about it.
Thus he does not give a damn about it.
Who cares about it if no one is hurt?
simple-minded, we can say that about him.
The world is too cruel.

Where is the place?
No one knows.
No one cares.
A place where normal people can't reach.
A place only exists in an imaginary world.
People doubt its existence.
He doubts its existence too.
A place only known by a mysterious name.
Everything inside also is unbelievable.
They exist only in names.
They stem from an imaginary name.
A name to define a thing that does not exist.
An existence of a thing that does not exist.
Cradled in uncertainty, blurred by mystery.
A place where anything in the world does not matter.
As it never exist to begin with.

That's where he died.
That's where he forfeited.
That's where he crumpled, and fell down.
He did not know about it.
Since it did not even exist.
But he was dragged inside it.
Not dragged, maybe he just stumbled upon it.
It just happened to meet him.
A twist of fate.
Unfathomable.
He could never know that he had been done for.
His ignorance had brought his demise.
He could not blame anyone.
He just blamed it on himself.
On his ineptitude.
There, he died.
In the middle of an unknown place.
Where he did not know about anything.
Where he never belong to.
He died.
On his frozen face, a smile never faded.
A sad smile for his own stupidity.
A cynical smile for the grave he dug for himself.
An enigmatic smile.
Who no one could figure out what is the true meaning.

tóm tắt:
hôm nọ đi thi Toán.
có câu hỏi về imaginary axis in the complex plane.
rõ ràng là ko trả lời đc
nổi cơn hãm lên ngồi bốc phét cho nó ghê gớm.
blah
blạh

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008/ 4:27 PM

Pậy hôn?
=))
Em thề đây ko phải là hentai

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