The great depression...
Recently I suffered from a period of depression. I still haven't gotten out of it yet, and now I feel my life getting more and more depressing.
Today is Halloween's day, a day meant for relaxation, a time to be happy around people. Yet I was stuck at home playing computer games and writing this post. No one invited me to anywhere. I am desperate.
I'm desperately in need of life rehabilitation. A change in lifestyle should be applied. A girlfriend would be welcomed anytime.
But where the hell can I find what I need?
Really need to get out of this depression and desperation.
My friend's birthday.
One of my best friends, and a very nice girl.
From today onwards, she is once again older than me.>"<
Talking with her is really fun, and since she started to study for next year, I haven't got time to talk with her.
We used to call each other by weird names, like " darling", "honey" and "cutie".
To say the truth, I used to like her, and I miss her quite a lot.
I wish I had a chance to talk with her again soon, to see her smile, to listen to her voice once again.
And I hope I will never lose such a good friend.
....
I am currently undergoing a disastrous period called Ass week. During this time,All I have to do is to mug my ass off and worry my ass off. No need to say, ass week is an ass-aching time for students like me.
Ass week, despite of its name as a "week", is much longer than a normal week. Ass week can be divided into three main parts. The pre- ass week period ranges from a week to a month, when you bury your head in notes and books and stuff all those useless meaningless things into your small and saturated brain. The main part is the ass week itself, which lasts only one week, but during this period of time, you age 10 times more than normal, and your health will be heavily deteriorated. The last and final part, is when you wait for the result to come out, compare your marks with your friends, and calculate your year end result. What happen to you in this week is largely depended on what happen in the last two parts.
The main problem of the ass week is my and your health.
The last period, although you cannot control or manipulate what will happen, is especially threatening. If you slack in the first part, or screw up in the second part, your aging speed in this period is extremely high. On the other hand, if you mug like hell on the first part, and you are lucky in the second part, you might be able to reverse the time and become younger. But, for the second case, you have aged much faster in the last two parts, so add in together, you are not younger in the second case, if not to say you are older.
From here onwards, I will make an assumption that you can only be a mugger or a slacker.
If you are a mugger
-> you feel pressure from the upcoming tests -> bad for your health
-> you stay up late to study -> bad for your health
-> you read the notes again and again -> extremely bad for your health, can lead to eyesight worsening and brain malfunction.
-> you spend less time to watch your own health
-> ....
If you are a slacker
-> people around you study, but you don't want to -> you play to forget studying -> bad
-> you feel the pressure from the tests and everybody around you -> your brain tell you to study but your heart holds you back -> internal conflict of needs and wants. depend on the kind of people you are, but can be really traumatizing.
-> ....
So whoever you are, slacker or mugger, you will still be affected by the ass week.
And what about the outcomes?
If you are a mugger,there are some options:
- you do well and receive good score. -> no need to say, a good reward for your work and your tribute.
- you do not very bad and receive okay score. -> it depends, you may find it satisfactory or not. But, if you do well but make stupid mistakes and get lower than what you deserve, it may lead to depression, anger, dissatisfaction, hatred,... and raise unhealthy ideas inside your brain.
-you do badly -> are you kidding? you are a mugger and you do badly?
the last option is highly unlikely to happen.
the boundary between the first and the second option is not very clear. Depend on your aim and determination, you will fall in either 1 or 2. Factual examples give that muggers often get high mark but never feel satisfactory, and they go mostly for the second. So this is pretty risky to be a mugger.
If you are a slacker, there will be two options:
- you do well -> congrats, but you will likely to be lazier and more careless. there is nothing to rely on when your luck run out, so maybe you will have to pay back later.
- you do badly -> what do you expect when you slack off?
That means, either ways, ass week is better avoided.
However, the stupid education system forces all of us to take ass weeks 2->4 times a year.
As I am striving to be a highly educated citizen, my study life will last for more than 15 years at least. -> at least 60 ass weeks
So until I am free, I will just curse my life,curse the ass weeks, curse the education system, curse the government, curse the knowledge, and curse myself for all the nonsense I have written.